Wow! It has been a while since I have written. Things are on the up and up and I guess. I guess, I�m not really sure about that. Things are just�.going.

I think it�s been over a week since I�ve written. Since the last time, I have spent two days packing and going through a lot of junk. I have two boxes for a yard sale I�m having once we move on base. The living room, and the dinning room, the storage closet, and the kitchen are all packed in exception of things that I need. I am way excited about moving. I just can�t wait. Only three more weeks! YAY!

After we get settled in on base, I�m gonna start my training classes to get certified so that I can start keeping children in my home. I am sort of excited about that as well. I mean I will make good money. And I will have fun doing it I think. But it will mean a major life change for me. I will actually have to go to bed at a decent hour, and get up early in the morning � YUCK! And I will not be able to be on my computer all day. I mean I practically live on the computer. HAHA! So, I will actually be productive!

Well, last week was pretty same old same old. Tommy and I got over our little problems and seem now to be doing pretty good. I never realized how cute he was. I mean I guess I did. But here lately he just seems so freaking cute to me I could just squeeze his little head off! I have realized lately how much I really do love him. I mean this last year with him has really been a struggle. I have struggled sometimes just to stay with him, struggled just to make love to him, struggled to wake up in the morning because I feared the next day. And for some reason, for the last month, I feel like I have just fallen in love with him all over again. I�m not sure but I think he might feel the same way. There is just something different about the way he looks into my eyes. I feel it when we make love and I feel it when we�re kidding around with each other. And I have come to realize, that while I always complain that I don�t feel like he cares about me, but I know that he does. The minute I told him I was going to school, he was really supportive, and when I told him I needed a loan, he didn�t hesitate to help me get it. And when I told him I wanted to start keeping children in our home, he was supportive of that as well. That really makes me feel good. He seems interested in something I�m doing. And that really makes me happy.

Last Thursday I had my three month check up at the Gyno! ICK! I have a condition and I have to have check ups every three months. I hate it. But it�s better than developing cancer I guess. So whatever it takes to keep me from getting that. Then I took Espher to get her slip for under her wedding dress. I have been helping her plan her wedding now for about two weeks. She at first wasn�t gonna have one at all but then she told me that she really wanted it, so I told her I would help. We are now like three days away. I have found a place, a dress, and all her accessories, and a place for a dinner/reception. I think it is all gonna come off really nice. It really wasn�t hard getting this thing together. I know that it seemed that way to them, but it really wasn�t. Just took a little thought and planning.

Then Friday was really nothing special. Tommy worked and afterwards everyone went out to celebrate a guy in his shop getting Tech Sgt. So I ended up babysitting the guy�s three kids. Actually they ended up not being his kids at all. They are his fiancee�s kids. All three of them, and the youngest was not even a year old. And I was really excited about keeping them, I even enjoyed it. But I offered to keep them because I was gonna get paid some money which I really needed. However! I didn�t get paid shit. I got $13 because they guy didn�t have enough cash. Then he tells Tommy that he�ll give him the rest later, but then takes us out to Breakfast, so I figure we won�t get to see that money. Or, I won�t get to see that money! Damnit, that sucks. The drama around this small ass military town is crazy. It�s worse than when I was in high school, even worse than when I worked at Ruby Tuesday�s! And let me just say the drama there was crazy enough. But the mother of the three kids shows up at like 3 in the morning drunk, and says that she�s leaving because there was shit going on the her fianc�e is gonna kick this dude�s ass. UGH! But at the bar, another guy that Tommy works with actually did almost kick this other guy�s ass because he is a freaking male whore. It turns out that the male whore, Sid**, got caught screwing this guy�s wife in the alley behind the bar. What the fuck? I mean is every girl in this town a whore? I can�t get over the stories I�ve heard. So, anyway, after all that Tommy calls me and tells me that if someone comes to the door not to answer it because Sid** is walking around town wanting to crash at our place. Apparantly, Sid** had it for me one night back in May when we all got drunk together. But I would never do something like that, I have morals! And besides, I love my husband with all my heart. I don�t want to be with anyone else for the rest of my life! So anyway, back to the drama, Tommy says that Sid** is on his way over here because he was drunk and wouldn�t get his mind off coming over here. ICK, I wouldn�t touch him with a 50 foot pole. So of course like instructed, I didn�t answer the door for anyone. And that was Friday night!

Saturday started off with a bang. Not really, just said that, and now I�m realizing that it�s cheesy as all hell! But after breakfast Tommy and I laid in bed together doing our own thing. He played video games while I read my book. I love those times with him. I don�t think for the rest of my life, I will like just sitting around doing nothing with anyone else as much as I love doing nothing with him. Then we set off for Boise on another great adventure. Don�t get me wrong, I really enjoy hanging out with Sean and Espher, but it seems that every time we go to Boise something is fucked up. This time, everything was great until we went to see a movie. We all wanted to see the same movie except Tommy. I knew this and he said that he would just see it by himself. But the times were all messed up and so he ended up seeing the same one as us. It was really a horrible movie. It really was a waste of time, and I feel bad because it was my fault. He was very upset. But I�m gonna make it up to him. I was really excited too about Sean and Espher coming over and getting drunk or playing games and maybe breaking into the pool and swimming again, but she got a really bad migraine and needed to go home. I can understand because my headache started up in the movie, and I felt like shit as well. So Tommy and I came home and sat in bed eating ice cream and �.hehe�doing nothing! 

Sunday was great. We did nothing.

Monday, another nothing day.

Tuesday, YAY! Went to sign papers for our house. I�m so excited. Then we took Sean and Espher to get some stuff for their wedding. Tommy came with us too. That was nice. I really enjoyed being with him that day. I don�t think he knows how sweet and loving he can be. I want him to know, but if I tell him he�ll stop being cute, loving, caring, and sweet! HAHA!

Yesterday I worked on my contract that I will have to have for my child care program. It took me like four hours to finish! But I think it�s good. I mean I really do know about the business stuff, I am in school for it. And I am a pretty good writer I think. I just hope I have success with this stuff. I really really need the money!

Tomorrow, or maybe when Tommy gets home, I�m going to apply for a job at Wal-mart. My checking account is still in the negative and is now over $200.00. I have to have it paid soon, and neither Tommy and I, or my mother have the money to help out with this. If I don�t get it paid off, it will get closed and the bank will turn it over to collections. Then I will be in more shit because I�ll never be able to have an account in my name. It really sucks. It�s all my fault, but I HAVE to have it paid off. I might just have to bite the bullet and do something I don�t want. ICK!

Well, I have been writing this entry for like 2 hours. I�m watching �As Good As it Gets�. It is really a feel good movie. A cute movie. I just feel bad for those like the gay guy that don�t have family and people in their lives because they are different. I mean, I thank God every freaking day for the family I have. I originally saw this movie in high school. I think I was 15. I don�t think I totally got the movie then. It truly is a great story. Has a great lesson for all of us to learn. One thing that I notice is Jack�s character. He�s obsessive compulsive. I have been �labeled� as obsessive compulsive. But I am no where near as bad as him. I really like the story too, it is just so cute. Oh well, I guess this is all for now. I bid farewell.

�Always look on the bright side of life!� (Don�t know author)

This is my new motto! 

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