HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Today was suppose to make me start feeling better. I thought that maybe when my hubby came home from Vegas I would be able to snap out of my depression and hit the road to being happy. Wrong was I.

First I stayed up until almost 6 AM this morning. So in turn I slept until almost 1:00 this afternoon when Kailee finally got tired of being alone and woke me up. She is such a great three year old sometimes. In the mornings if she wakes before I do, she simply asks me for more juice, something to eat, and her cartoons. I refill her sippy, make her a quick but healthy breakfast, let her eat, and flip on her cartoons. Then she will allow me to sleep until she gets bored. She knows the routine, and it�s sweet that she will let me sleep in from time to time. I gotta love her. So, after my morning nap, I got up and was about to take a much needed awaking shower when my phone rings. I had a feeling I didn�t want to take the call, and when I saw my grandmother�s number on the ID, I knew I didn�t want this call.

My grandmother usually calls me on Saturday afternoons to chit chat, but we had already talked this week. So I knew something was wrong. And I was right. My grandfather that I discussed before, that had been diagnosed with more cancer had only last week been given three to six months to live. For more about that, click HERE. Well he died this morning. How sad. It makes my heart ache. Literally when I heard the news I thought someone had ripped my heart right outta my chest, squeezed it really tight, threw it on the ground, then used it for a trampoline all while making me watch. It hurts. I hate it. And the thing that makes me the angriest was that I had written him a long letter to express what he meant to me, and I was going to buy some new printer ink this weekend, print the letter, and mail it to him. I thought that I had plenty of time. Turns out, we don�t know how much time we�ll have. Who fucking knew huh? Well, I�m so sad about this. But the worst part is that I can�t cry, or be upset out loud because I just can�t do it. I�m normally not the type of person that wears their emotions on their sleeves. And while I was on the phone with my grandmother, the only person that would comfort me in this situation, I could not get the words out, or the emotions out. And now, I�m suffering inside and don�t know what to do with these feelings.

So after my conversation with my granny, I finally jumped in the shower. I had to clean up a bit before I was to head to the flight line to pick up my hubby. After cleaning the house, and starting on the car, someone rang the door bell. I didn�t want company, so I yanked open the door angrily and low and behold it was my hubby! He had gotten back early, and as a surprise he just got a ride to the house. How nice of him. He brought me back some casino chips worth very little money. How sweet! We�ve done nothing but lay around the house all day. But now I must get to my homework. ICK! It was due at midnight, and I still haven�t completed it all yet. Hell, I only have one assignment complete! I�m becoming so sad with my homework, yet I really don�t care. I have other issues right now. But the thing is, I don�t want to withdrawal because I really want my degree. I just look at the light at the end of the tunnel that I will finally get to in February. YAY!

Having some fun, I took a quiz called �Which Halloween Smiley are You?� Here are my results:

skull


Which Halloween Smiley Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Apparently I don�t like corny Smileys and I don�t like taking corny quizzes. HA! Who knew? Such a shocker!

Well, I must get back to my boring homework. I�m sure I could ramble forever�

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