Lately, I've been having the weirdest dreams ever.

Two nights ago, I dreamed that me and one of my best friends were on our way to Las Vegas. On the way, we listened to "System of a Down". For some reason that stuck out in my mind. Then we took a tour from a helocopter of the city. I am scared to death of heights, and this wasn't a closed chopper, this was one of those open ones like the Army uses! I was freaking out. She made me go with her. Then the chopper lowered to the ground about 30 feet up, and I fell off in the middle of nowhere, and they just took off without coming back to get me! I was terrified. Then, the crazy thing was, my friend just all of a sudden walks up to me after hours of me wandering around and says "well are you ready to go home now?" Then the dream ended.

The weird about this dream? First I haven't seen this friend in over a year! I KNOW I'm A HUGE Asshole, but everytime I'm in Tennessee, we can NEVER meet up. The second weird thing is that it was Vegas we were visiting. I've been thinking about planning a trip to Vegas with my husband. But shit, that was out of left field. And the weirdest thing was that I was really scared of that city! Maybe I just was in the wrong part of the city during my dream.

Anyhow, now the scariest dream. And it was a little wierd too. Last night I dreamed that my Grandmother and me were on a road trip somewhere in my Mother's truck. My Grandmother was driving, and we were somewhere in Minnesota. Actually I think we were in Minneapolis. And we had stopped at a gas station for directions, and the clerk told us wich way to go. We turned out of the gas station the way he told us to, and ended up in a flood. Then my Grandmother tries to turn around, but can't and we're swept away by the water, which was like a river. And we are swept down into a school! Yes a school building. We get out but get separated, and I run up stairs till I find people just sitting in class as if nothing is going on. I'm screaming at the top of my lungs for someone to help me and help my Grandmother, and the people just look at me and the teacher says "There is no flood, God himself couldn't flood this school." - like were on the Titanic! How fucking strange is this? So, I'm definately freaking out, when finally my old Softball coach comes in and helps me. He drags my Grandmother out of the school, and gets in my Mom's truck, which mind you that is what were driving, and we end up back at the gas station where the dream started out!

So, I was a little freaked out by that second dream, and I tried to call my Grandmother today to see if she is okay. I sometimes get the feeling that we dream things about certain people because they are on our subconscience mind and there COULD be something wrong. Just a feeling I have. But they didn't answer thier phone, and I KNOW if something was wrong, my Mom would call me instantly. OR WOULD SHE? That's the thing... I never know with her. She says she would call the instant something were to happen, but would she really? She might want to wait and see if everything is okay, becausae after all, I'm 2000 miles away and what can I really do but worry? And true worrying never does any good, but WTF? I think I have a right to know how things are back home with my family. Oh my God I'm rambling on like a baboon. I'm so sick though. I hate being here. Ever since I got back from this last visit home, I've been miserable. And I'm always worrying about my family back there. I know lots of people aren't very close to thier family, and some would probably even prefer their families living 2000 miles away, but that's not me. I LOVE my family. Especially my Grandparents. They raised me. I lived with them for a majority of my life, including my teenage years. So it's weird, but they are my parents. And after my last visit, I just saw that they really are getting older and more fragile. Espcially my Grandmother. Neither are in perfect health, and it scares me being so far away. If one of them were to have a heart attack, I might not get there in time. If they couldn't save them, I probably wouldn't even get to say goodbye. God, this has turned into a morbid entry.

The thing is, I think that these dreams are being fumed from my worries. I know I need to stop, and honestly I'm not the type to always worry about shit. I usally take life a day at a time, and I am one of those few people in life that accepts the fact that shit happens, and there is nothing you can do about shit happening, so you just have to let the shit take it's course and live with it. But, this isn't "shit", it's my parents, and the poeple that are the closest to me. And I HATE being so far away from them, I want to be able to enjoy my family, not constantly miss them. God, we have to get out of here. Soon. Fuck.

Okay, I'm done with that. I need to get my mind off of it. I have a migraine anyway, so I should just shut up. I took this survey, a different survey than before, to make me feel better I guess. Didn't help really, but here it is. So now I'm off to bed to curl up with my US Weekly magazine and read about celebrity gossip. I can't help it, I'm addicted to it. It's my only guilty pleasure in life. Alright so good night or good morning everyone...enjoy the survey. Again.

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly! - A Survey of Your Life
* So Basically... *
Name?:	Amanda
Age?:	23
Sex?:	not in the mood...oh yea FEMALE
Birth Date?:	23 years ago..hehe May 21st
Hair Color?:	Fire...oh okay it's Red
Eye Color?:	Blue/Green
Height?:	5 Feet 4 Inches
Weight?:	yea right...not telling
Body Type?:	average
Piercings?:	used to have a lot, not just the norm
Tattoos?:	One, on my right shoulder, and i love it
What are you wearing right now?:	yoga pants, sweatshirt
Hair style at the moment?:	down, curly, layered, red??? i don't know
* Favorites *
Soda?:	don't drink them much, but when I do it's Pepsi
Food?:	Italian
Drink?:	Sweet Tea
Alcoholic Drink?:	Cosmopolitan
Time of day?:	NIGHT
Season?:	FALL
Day of the week?:	Sunday...it's our lazy day I LOVE IT
Song at the moment?:	Daughters
Band/Artist?:	A Perfect Circle, Smashing Pumpkins, Tool, Dave Matthew's Band, Interpol, Incubus, and so many more
Book?:	White Oleander
Subject in school?:	not in school
Place in the USA?:	Nashville
Place outside the USA?:	I want to go to Italy, but I've never been out of the country so I don't have a favorite place just yet
Color?:	Pink, Black, Red
Style of clothes?:	whatever I like
Store?:	wherever there is a sale
Mall?:	HATE MALLS
City?:	Nashville
Website?:	whatever I'm looking at
Magazine?:	I like Parents...or US Weekly, I'm a sucker for gossip
Kind of pet?:	FISH!
* Worst *
Place to be?:	Idaho
Class in school?:	Math
Time of dayr?:	the Morning
Season?:	Summer...too hot
Kind of pet?:	Cats...I'm allergic, but they are good pets
Drink?:	anything with alcohol
Food?:	most veggies
Mall?:	any mall
Store?:	most of them
Style of clothes?:	whatever is "in style"
Celebrity?:	the peole that came from "Reality TV"
Color?:	pukey green?? i dunno
Book?:	not sure
Type of music?:	country
Website?:	this one...haha
Magazine?:	who cares
* Daily Life *
When do you get up?:	6:30 AM
What is your first thought?:	"I need a cigarette"
What do you do first?:	smoke a cigarette
What's your usual outfit?:	whatever is comfortable and clean
What's the first class of the day?:	don't have class
When does school end?:	don't go to school
Do you see your friends?:	not in school
What do you do when you get home?:	i'm always home
What time do you go to bed?:	whenever i feel like it
* Do you...*:	what the fuck?
Brush your teeth daily?:	of course
Brush your hair daily?:	yes
Shower daily?:	YES
Sing?:	sure do
Dance?:	sure do
Party?:	not so much
Get drunk?:	not so much
Have sex?:	not so much....HAHA KIDDING!
Read books?:	yes all the time
Listening to music a lot?:	OF COURSE
Read magazines?:	yes
Go online a lot?:	all the time
Stay on AIM all day even with an away message?:	umm...yes..i'm a nerd
Have a religion?:	no
Have an IPod?:	no
Want an IPod?:	YES!
Have a Girlfriend/Boyfriend?:	nope, but i do have a husband
Play an instrument?:	yes
Get sick a lot?:	sometimes
Watch TV?:	just DVDs no cable
Like MTV?:	FUCK NO
Like VH1?:	not really
Like the History Channel?:	sure
Have Digital Cable?:	not anymore
Have more than 500 channels on your TV?:	nope
Listen to the radio?:	sometimes
Still use your CD player?:	OF COURSE
Stalk people?:	no
Have more than 200 buddies on your Buddy List?:	nope
Have dial-up internet?:	FUCK NO
Have AOL?:	messenger, not service
Know HTML?:	yes
Have a GPA higher than 3.9?:	yes...in college anyway
Get H's in honors classes?:	we didn't have H's, just As
* Music *
Do you listen to Rap?:	very little
R & B?:	very little
Blues and/or Jazz?:	sometimes
Classical?:	yes
Pop?:	NO
Country?:	NO
Emo/Scremo?:	not really into it
Heavy Metal?:	yes
Christian?:	no
Techno?:	not really
Reggae?:	nope
Broadway Musical songs?:	sure
Oldies?:	classic rock count?
* In A Boyfriend/Girlfriend *
Hair color?:	i don't care
Eye color?:	i don't care
Tattoos?:	ditto
Piercings?:	not too many
Favorite Music?:	my husband likes my kind of music
Style of clothing?:	don't care
Body Type?:	ditto
Personality or Looks?:	can't be shallow
Would you go out with someone just for their money?:	fuck no
Do you go on "Pity Dates"?:	i did once
Does size matter?:	size of what?...haha
Do they have to be popular?:	don't care
Does the guy ask the girl or the other way around?:	doesn't matter
Where do you go on the first date?:	my husband and i went to dinner and a movie
Kiss on the first date?:	we did
Sex on the first date?:	no way!
* Right Now *
Do you think you look good right now?:	not really
Are you eating something?:	yep, yogurt
Are you drinking something?:	yep, sweet tea
Are you IMing anyone?:	yep
Are you talking on the phone with someone?:	nope
Are you talking face to face with someone?:	nope
Is anyone at your house who doesn't live there?:	nope
What song are you listening to?:	Interpol..PDA
What are you watching on TV?:	nothing
What other websites do you have open?:	Myspace
Why are you taking this survey?:	because I am bored
Where are you going to post it?:	Diaryland...maybe Myspace
What are you going to do after this?:	write an entry in my Diary
* What do you Believe? *
Do you believe in ghosts?:	nope
The afterlife?:	not sure yet
Aliens?:	anything is possible
God?:	yes
The devil?:	maybe
Heaven?:	maybe
Hell?:	maybe
Scientology?:	no
Hinduism?:	not my belief
Buddhism?:	ditto
Christianity?:	i don't have a religion, so i'm not christian
Taoism?:	nope
Judism?:	not my belief
Jesus?:	ditto
Nothing?:	i believe in something
Reincarnation?:	nope
Yourself?:	Sometimes
* Randoms *
Have you been on an airplane before?:	Yes
Where were you going?:	Which time...most recently I went home to Nashville
Have you been to another country?:	not yet
Have you ever went to another country with your friends?:	nope
Have you ever partied in another country?:	nope
Have you ever went on a roadtrip with your friends?:	yes
Ever stayed online more than 10 hours straight?:	yes
Pretended to like someone just to get popular?:	fuck no
Talked about someone behind their back?:	who hasn't?
Had someone talk about you behind your back?:	who hasn't?
Been in a fight online?:	yep
Been in a fight face to face?:	of course
Gotten yourself involved in a fight that wasn't about you?:	ugh, yes
Been called a bitch?:	of course
Been called a slut/whore?:	yep
Been to Australia?:	nope
Do you like snakes?:	nope
Ever cried to get your own way?:	nope
Ever broken a bone?:	yep
Ever had to stay in the hospital for more than a week?:	nope
Ever had serious surgery?:	nope
Ever looked a porn online?:	actually no
Ever went to one of those "adult" stores?:	yep
Ever bought clothes at Walmart?:	yep
Ever gotten clothes from the Salvation Army?:	no
Ever paid more than 100 dollars for a pair of jeans?:	fuck no
Ever been on stage for any reason?:	yep, lots of times
Ever been in a play?:	yep
Ever been in a choir?:	yep
Ever been in a band?:	yep
Do you play, or used to play, an instrument?:	yep
Gotten a Brazilian Bikini Wax?:	nope
Waxed your eyebrows?:	yep
Waxed your legs?:	yep
Cut yourself shaving?:	yep
Have you ever died?:	are you kidding me?
Was this survey an good at all?:	it was okay
What time is it right now?:	3:24 AM
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