Well, it is two days before we starting moving and I have not gotten near as far I as I wanted with the packing. Mostly due to the fact that I came down ill yesterday. I was in bed all night last night, I couldn't stand to sit up. Yesterday, I had to go pick up the keys for our new house, and wait on the delivery guys that had my appliances. I enjoyed being at the new house, but I started to realize that I am going to miss my little apartment. But I guess this move will be for the best, all the space we're gonna have the big back yard and the money that we are gonna save will more than make up for me missing this place.

Well, I have not had anything really at all to talk about. Life is just busy at the moment with school and me trying to move. But I hate when I don't have anything to write about. It makes me freaking ill. I have had some weird dreams lately. But it is hard for me to remember them!

The most recent dream that is still very vivid in my mind occurred this past weekend. In order for me to tell the dream where it makes some sense I must tell a small story first, so here it goes.

Back when Tommy and I were living together right out of high school, I became pregnant. Not knowing that, Tommy and I parted ways, not really ever planning to know each other any longer. At the time he had already met another girl to be with and her name was Lindsay. Not very long after I found out I was pregnant, and we broke up, Tommy becamse serious with her, deminishing all my hopes of us getting back together. And for my entire pregnancy and even a few months after Kailee was born, Tommy remained serious with this girl. It really did hurt me so badly to see him with her, espcially when the entire time they were together, Tommy would still see me on the side. But they broke up and Tommy and I started dating again about a year later. However, I still fear that he doesn't love me as much as he loved her, and this brings me to my dream, or nightmare as I like to call it.

In my dream, Tommy and I were back living at home, and we were living in my grandparents house. My grandparents had given me the house for some reason!?? I became really ill and Tommy was caring for me so well. But during the night, I got up needing something and heard some squeaky noise coming from the spare bedroom. I entered the room, and was shocked to see Tommy having sex with his ex - Lindsay! OMG, was I devastated. I wanted to kill that girl. They both started saying they were sorry, but they couldn't deny that they loved each other so much and wanted to be together again. Tommy was leaving me for her - AGAIN!

Now, in real life, Tommy actually did leave me for her. We were seeing each other for a while after the break up but Tommy decided not to come back to me because he wanted to be with her instead. So, my nightmare was freaking scarry to me. I have put so much into this marriage and gone through so much, and now my fear of losing Tommy again has resurfaced. He thinks I'm being rediculious, and says that he wouldn't leave me for her, and besides, she wouldn't be interested. But that doesn't mean anything to me, he could meet someone else, and fall in love with that bitch and the leave me! I mean what I am to do? I can't get over this damn fear of losing him again. If I lose him again, it will devistate me, and I might just swear off men forever!

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