Hello everyone! I hope everyone out there is having a great Holiday season.

It seems that I offended a couple of people with my last entry, so I guess this entry will be in defense of myself, and sort of an apology. I feel that I shouldn�t have to apologize for things that I say on my journal, because it is just that, my fucking journal. But I hate upsetting people. Especially when I never intended to upset anyone. So, I must write now about exactly who I was talking about in my journal, so the people with no lives don�t think that I was speaking of them.

There were some comments made about my last entry from one person that took my entry the wrong way. And maybe I wasn�t clear enough about the things I was talking about. So for that person, this portion of my entry is for you�

I honestly have to question why you are still defending yourself so strongly. I never said anything about you in this entry. I have read over and over how I could have pointed that entry towards you, and I just don�t see it there. Honest to God, none of what I wrote was directed towards you, or Randi. And like I stated in my entry, Randi was NOT one of those bitching to me about her family being so far. It is understandable that you are upset. I can see why you might have took this entry personally, but honestly it was not towards you or your husband in anyway. While I don�t care for your husband after what he did to my husband, I still have nothing bad to say about him or you.

If you must know who I was talking about, I will tell you.
The people around me that most annoy me are those that are stationed here and do NOT live that far from home. Like Oregon and Washington state. BUT OH MY GOD, they complain like they live 4000 miles away. OH it urks me!
In that statement, I am talking of a couple I know that are from Washington State. Spokane to be exact. They are not my friends either, and I only know them by association. I am actually speaking of the wife here. I met her through a friend, where I attended that �Sex� party at, if you recall, I KNOW I told you about it. After the sex party, I had been over that friend�s house a few times, and while there her neighbor which is the wife I am speaking of was always there. She started bitching to me just Tuesday night about how she wished she could go home. When I agreed and tried to tell her that I missed my home as well, she told me that because my husband and I are still new in the Air Force, that I shouldn�t be complaining.

Now, I went into detail about exactly what I was referring to in my �bitching� entry, so that I can clarify exactly what I meant. I know that you live close to some of your family, but I also know that a lot of them are in Minnesota, and therefore, I know that you can relate to my feelings right now. Honestly, I hope that you get to see all your family before you leave to head overseas, because I know it must be difficult to be in this situation. Which is why I wished you the best of luck.

Secondly, when I stated about the couple I know that spends money on stupid shit, I�m talking of a girl in my Childcare program, who is not my friend as of about three weeks ago. I happen to know for a fact that her husband makes way more than I do, and I know for a fact that they blew their money on things they didn�t need, and then complained to me about being broke, and asked me to borrow money for gas as well. I gave them the money despite how I felt about it, and since we have not talked because they have yet to pay me back that gas money.

So there is the explanation for that part. And how could I be talking about Randi and her husband or you and yours? If you think about it, your husband makes LESS than mine, and not that it�s any of your business, but Randi�s makes the exact SAME AMOUNT as my husband. So how the hell could I be talking about them or you guys. I�ve never seen you guys blow money on shit that you didn�t really need that was big. Maybe a few small items like a movie or something, but that isn�t the extent of what I am talking about here. I am speaking of that girl�s husband going out and spending $500.00 on a new T.V. when they didn�t need it nor did they have the money and then turn right around the next payday and spend $300.00 on tools when he didn�t need those. So please, explain to me now how I am talking about you or Randi?

And for the record, if it is any of your business, we did not make as much as we were supposed to from moving ourselves on base. And with that money, we paid $150.00 for work to be done on our car and new tires. We then spent $120.00 for the Uhaul that we rented for the move. Then we spent $230.00 on paying our balance down on our credit card. So tell me, how did we buy something big that we didn�t need here? And by the way, if it�s your business, we purchased the surround sound system on our credit card. I know not the right way to do things, but sometimes it�s really hard to talk men outta doing something they shouldn�t do but they want so badly.

And lastly, about the �doors of opportunity�. I was in no way speaking of you. In fact, I feel bad, but I was talking of my own husband here. He has so many windows of opportunities coming his way, however he complains about all of them. I try to be patient with him, but it�s hard, and because I want to be the most supporting wife I can be, I try to tell him to chill out and let the opportunities take him to where he�s supposed to be in life. However, he still complained at that, so I told him to stop bitching about it all and just look at how good his future is laid out in front of him.

Honestly I am happy for you that you get to go to England. I think it will be really good for your marriage, and you personally. Do I care now what is good for you? NO! I hate nothing more in life than to be accused of something that I have not done. If you suspected that I wrote that entry in regards to you or your family, then it would have been nice if you would have just asked. I thought that we were friends, and when I say friends, I don�t mean acquaintances, or a person I know by association. Hell, I drove all the way to the middle of no where so that you could save your cat, and I took it in for you. I helped you out in so many ways for your wedding. You have to admit, if I wouldn�t have pushed Sean into giving you some sort of wedding, you wouldn�t have had what you had. And did I ever ask you for anything in return for what I did for you? NO, I did not. I listened for hours while you bitched about Sean�s past love life, but I never once stated that you were bothering me, instead I was there for you while you were slitting your wrists, because I cared. When you showed up at my house, and brought your marriage drama here, along with my husband�s IMMIEATE supervisor, I did not complain. I was there for you. I did whatever I could to make you feel better so that you would stop slitting your wrist.

I know see that everything I did for you was in vain. You either were using me or could care less about me period. I honestly don�t understand you. Your life has been turned around so much by the people around you, and all you do is attack them or belittle them. You did it to your husband, and now after all I did for you, you have done it to me. That is very hurtful. I think you should take your own advice and open your eyes, as I will take that advice as well. I will do my best to see Idaho for something other than hell, and I will do my best to make my life here happy for me and my family. But you on the other hand should as well. You should see that your husband�s past is the past, and that he loves you and wants to take care of you. You should have seen that I was your friend, and if I had anything to say to you, I would have said it to your face. You should understand that people are trying to help you, not hurt you, and stop taking everything so personally.

Lastly, I do wish you the best of luck in England. But I will say this�..if you see me on the street, don�t speak to me. If you see me online, don�t chat to me. And if you will, please stay away from my journal, and I will stay away from yours. I really don�t care what happens to you, your husband, or your bitchy cats (and yes, Anukis is a bitch). But, I still hope you have a great life filled with happiness, love, and wealth. But I don�t want to know you. Just go about your merry little way. If you have comment for me here, please leave it, but as far as I am concerned, I have nothing more to prove to you and this whole ordeal is over with. SO, good luck with your job at Burger King, good luck paying taxes in England, and enjoy dragging your cats all over the world, and hope that your husband won�t cheat on you in the future because you are so uptight.

Now, I must defend myself as a mother, and I really hate doing this. But I would hate for people to get the wrong idea about me or what this girl is saying in my comments.

I do NOT sit my child in front of the T.V. with food and go back to bed. I stated in my entry, that I fed her, turned on her cartoons, and laid back down to sleep. So in defense of myself these are the steps�
1. made her breakfast, she sat at the table and ate it
2. turned on her cartoons for her, so that she could play while she watched t.v.
3. laid back down ON THE COUCH and snoozed

And this person, doesn�t have kids, she doesn�t know what it�s like. In fact, she hates kids and wants none of her own. And she has never seen my child raising techniques really. I am a very good mother to the best of my ability and I do whatever I can to make my child�s life happy. So, I will say AGAIN, that I don�t need anyone�s approval, especially hers.

I am sorry to have such a fucked up entry, and I am sorry to my readers for the drama. I needed to clear this little matter up so that I could go back to my life. So, if you are still reading this stupid entry, I thank you and apologize.
Steph, I would just like to say thank you for coming to my defense.
Little Kitty, I would like to say thanks as well for coming to my defense.
And Cammella, who the fuck are you? And who the fuck are you to judge me, I don�t even know you, nor I have I EVER seen you read my journal. So what the fuck ever to you.

THE END�*whew!!*

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