Well, it�s Valentine�s Day. I want to wish everyone a Happy Valentine�s Day, although I hate this day. There are many reasons why, but the main reason, is because my husband, who I�ve been with for over 5 years, has NEVER done anything for me on this day. Doesn�t matter that much to me though because I think this day has turned into a corporate scheme to find another excuse for us all to run out and buy all kinds of presents and spend lots of money.

But seriously, all my Valentine�s Days have sucked for like the last 12 years.
I usually watched all the other little kids in school get all kinds of balloons and candies, while I got none of that. I mean my Mom always gave me a bunch of stuff before school, but for just one year it would have been nice to receive one of those balloons with the candies tied at the bottom at school.

My eighth grade year, I was �going out� or had a boyfriend, with this guy that I really liked. He was the cutest thing ever. He was the sweetest guy too, and my first kiss, and his name was John-Michael. He worked for my Dad part time and his Dad and my Dad were like best friends. So on Valentine�s Day, we had these plans, or so he said. His Dad was gonna take us to this nice restaurant, and bla bla bla. We were in the eighth grade doing this, HA! But anyway, I get to school, all excited to see him, I have this card for him and a teddy bear with a heart � Classic. Well, I go to give it to him because our lockers were right beside each other, and he�s talking to one of my close friends, an uptight goodie goodie girl that always had a boyfriend named Brittney. I walk up to him, and he looks at me weird, she looks at me weird and turns away. (I think you get where I�m going) So, he turns to me and says, �I�m sorry to do this to you, but I really like Brittney, and we�re gonna start going out.� WTF?? I was so pissed, I didn�t even cry, till like my fourth period class. Then one of my good friends, Jesse (a guy) told me to forget the asshole, and so I did, and that�s when I started talking to Jesse, who I later started to date, but then broke it off with because I had to move away. Anyway, so that is how my curse of bad Valentine�s Days started.

My freshman year wasn�t much different. I was head over heels for this one guy, Buddy was his name, he was a drummer in our band, and had red hair (funny huh? Because I have red hair) anyway, he was awesome. We hung out all the freaking time, and we had kissed and stuff before too, but we weren�t ever like boyfriend and girlfriend although it was assumed by everyone that we were�So, I give him this awesome present for Valentine�s Day, some drum stuff, and in the little card I tell him how I really feel about him. He then tells me how sweet that was and walks away. Later that day in lunch, he doesn�t sit with me like he usually did, and he hadn�t talked to me at all, so I was a little upset. Then my friend tells me that he told her that he didn�t want anything more to do with me, that he was just using me. For what?? It�s not like we slept together or anything. But anyway, it sucked ass, and I did cry over him. He was such a good friend, and I was more upset over losing my friend than a so called boyfriend.

Then my sophomore year, I was going out with a guy, nothing big, but he cheated on me with my good friend, and in turn I dumped his ass the day before Valentine�s Day. And then my Junior Year, I was seeing this guy, whom I really liked, but we weren�t anything special yet, but I found out like the day before Valentine�s Day that he asked my very best friend to Prom and wasn�t interested in me! So WTF??

And that brings us to my Senior year, with my now husband, but boyfriend at the time. I don�t know why I expected this Valentine�s to be different, but I just did. I didn�t get jack shit from him, except a small teddy bear which was his Mother�s, and gave to him so he�d have something to give to me. Guess it�s the thought that counts, I don�t know. But we had plans that night I guess, sort of. He did the room up in candles, and we did our thing, and then afterwards we got into a huge fight, and practically broke up. I cried all night, but the next day he did say he was sorry. But still it sucked for Valentine�s Day ya know? And the Valentine�s Days that have followed haven�t been much different than that. One year I was pregnant and alone, but my wonderful Mother sent me roses to work and gave me lots of yummy candies to sit and eat in my pregnant depression state, bless her. The next year I was sort of with my hubby now, but it wasn�t exclusive, so I didn�t get shit. Then the following year I had fucked up major big time. (No time for those details, I just made some wrong decisions) and therefore I spent the night with a couple of friends, and then alone with Kailee. Not too shabby. But my poor husband to be at the time really wanted to do something special for me, and I fucked it all up to hell. And then there was last year, our first Valentine�s Day as a married couple, and NOTHING. Not even a special I love you or anything.

SO � this year, I decided to fuck the whole Holiday. I decided I didn�t give two shits about it, and I wasn�t doing anything for anybody. But I just couldn�t do that. After seeing all the pretty Valentine�s stuff in the Seasonal Isle at Walmart I just gave in. (See my point on the Corporate scheme, they even got to me!!!) I bought my husband a Chocolate heart, and card with Candy Lips on it for a sweet kiss, and some other candies and what not. Then I got him a really heart felt card that I put a lot of time into picking out. When he woke up this morning to go to work (he�s now on Day shift and today is his first day) I got up and went to set everything out for him. When he came to the table to eat the breakfast I prepared for him, he said �Aww, Thank you.� And then left for work. So, I let him have the car today in hopes that he might just swing by the Base florist shop and perhaps pick me up something. I have no use for candy because I�m on a diet, and I told him that. But I left the rest up to him. Perhaps he might do something sweet for me, who knows..but either way, I still really don�t care for this holiday, and so I�m not gonna stress about it.

So what holiday is next that I can look forward to? OH! St. Patrick�s Day! Great, I�m Irish, I LOVE this day, I can get really drunk and actually have a reason to! Yipee!

In other news, I�m just sitting here waiting on Kailee to wake up�OH SHIT! OMG � she just woke up, literally, and knocked on my office door which scared the shit outta me. SO now I better go take care of her. Seeing as it�s only 7:30 in the morning here, I�m sure I�ll be writing another entry. Have a great Heart Day folks!

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