What is up with Diaryland? Every freaking time I pull up the members area, it makes my toolbar on the bottom of my desktop disapper. Anyone else having this problem?

What's wrong with an 18 month old that won't take a nap? He's keeping up the rest of the children! Why today? It's Friday, I feel worse than I felt yesterday, I'm tired, and I want to lay on the couch in my pajamas and watch Friends, but no, I'm working, watching kids, because that was what I chose to do with my stay at home mother time, and I have no patience what so ever for these children, and it's not really thier fault, I'm just really cranky, sick, and tired, and it's FRIDAY, and I can't enjoy it. (Wow, that ended up being a really long rant and sentence, sorry)

So what's going on with me? That. Kids. Why did I choose to watch kids in my home? Did I actually think I had the nerve for it, or did I actually think it was something I wanted to do? Or did I actually think the money would be worth it? Who knows. I used to absolutely LOVE kids. I worked for my stepmother at her daycare for years. I used to teach Sunday School at my church, I used to babysit all the kids at my church and in my neighborhood on the weekends and stuff, but now, probably because I have my own, I just don't care too much for babysitting other people's children. I love my child, and this daycare thing is hendering our relationship. I'm really snappy with her, impatient with her, sometimes downright just mean to her, and when all the other little rugrats leave for the day, I have no energy to be with my daughter. Not to mention the fact that these little rugrats bring in every little germ in my house that is floating out in the great outdoors, and I catch it! I've been sick three out of the six weeks I've been open full time! THREE out of SIX weeks! What's wrong with this picture? I know, it's just not something I should be doing. If it wasn't for the parents of the children I watch, I'd quit tomorrow. But I would feel so terrible just quitting on them and they have no one else to turn to. Then people tell me, "Well, you should give them a couple weeks notice, they will have to find someone." I know, but still, every parent I have tells me they liked me best out of all the people they talked to. That makes me feel great, and then makes me feel bad for not wanting to do this anymore. Ugh, I'm gonna have to figure something out. Life can't continue on like this.

Alright folks, I guess that is all I have to complain about. Maybe I'll start feeling better since the weekend is here. Maybe next week I'll start fresh and new. Hopefully, but I doubt it. Farewell everyone, have a great weekend!

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