My God, I'm so freaking tired today. What is up with that? Actually I was reading other's journals, and it seems that they are so indrediably tired today too. Weird huh?

I honestly think that my lack of sleep over the weekend finally caught up with me. Yesterday, it was a weird day. I didn't get to sleep until 1:00 AM and I have to be up at 5:30 AM. But, the thing was I felt awesome after awaking. But I also knew that yesterday I had two people in the childcare biz coming to observe me. Motivation, I think so. But I felt great all day, then the little rugrats went home, so I attempted to relax and rest.

Well, that didn't go as planned. I had eariler in the afternoon invited Randi and her husband over to hang out and have dinner. However, when 6:30 PM rolled around and my husband wasn't home from the gym, and I knew once he returned he'd have to take a shower, then go into town to Wal-mart for some meat I needed for dinner, then get Randi's husband to change the broken headlight out on our car, and all that BEFORE he came home with the meat I needed for dinner, so I could cook. Does it make sense? NO. Well, basically he had about two hours of stuff to do before he'd bring home the meat I needed for dinner. So, I wouldn't be even STARTING dinner until around 8:30 at the earliest, so I just deicded to cancel dinner plans and lay on the couch and sleep.

Well, since my husband had a day off work, he didn't like that idea. He wanted our friends to come over. That's fine I said, but I'm not cooking a huge dinner then. Well, I got talked into it. Because I guess I'm an awesome cook (actually cooking is my thing, I really enjoy it, and I'm pretty good at it.) and Randi loves my mashed potatoes. So, I made pork chops, mashed potatoes, and corn. And by the time I was done, I was wiped out clean. DONE! I wasn't even hungry. I was so tired I didn't want to eat. I had one of my pork chops and that was it. I was just too tired to even eat. So, they left, I cleaned the kitchen, and I headed to the shower around 10:00. I was out and in in bed by 11:00 which would give me six hours of sleep.

I got that sleep. However, I feel worse today than I did yesterday, when I only got four hours of sleep. How does that work? I'm so tired, that my eyes keep drouping and hazing and whatever you wanna call it. I probably look like I'm on drugs. And the sad thing is, I got these kids. And I have all these activities planned for the little rugrats and I just don't feel like standing up and telling them what to do. But, I gotta get over that. It's nap time, and I'll go wash my hair in the sink, fix it up, throw on some make up and I think since the weather is so nice I'll take them for a walk this afternoon. That should be nice.

On a final note, I have a question. How can you love your child so fucking much, but not take care of her? I have this little baby, she's a little over one year old. She's very overweight, and she can't walk or crawl. She only scoots around the floor. She will only pull up in dieing situations. And everyday, when she's dropped off, she has an odor, and she's got shit stuck on her. Like under the chin, between her fingers, behind her ears. Even some shit in her hair. I don't mean shit literally, I mean like food, dirt, snot, whatever. It's gross. God, I give Kailee a bath almost everyday. Some nights she won't need one, but at least EVERY OTHER day she gets a bath. This little baby looks like she does't get bathed very often. And it's sad. Also, the fact that she's so overweight is sad. I know for a fact because the parent has told me that they will feed her a lot. And she'll eat until you stop feeding her. One time he told me she had six plates of chineese food at a Buffet! WTF? You don't give a one year old SIX PLATES of food. That's messed up. And do you know what? The next day, after that six plates of food, she was so miserable. She just laid down in the floor and wailed most of the day with her thumb in her mouth. All she does is wail too. When I walk away, she must think I'm going to cook some food because she'll stand there and stare at me and wail for food! It's craziness. I am also trying to get her to crawl to me or to toys when she wants them. I don't put them right in front of her, and I won't pick her up and move her, she has to move towards it. But when I do that, she wails some more and when I don't cater to that wailing, she starts screaming! It's crazy. I can't imagine. Maybe I'm a cold hearted bitch, but why do you let your child get this bad?

Well enough bitching. I can't believe I spend my free time bitching. I shoud start talking about happy things. Let's see what's happy right now? OH YEA! There is only 11 days till we get in the car and drive home to Tennessee! I couldn't be MORE excited! I am absolutly exstatic about it! As soon as we get there, I'm going to see a concert with my Mom on the front row. Then a few days after that my Mom and I have plans to go to Gulf Shores, Alabama, which is a big beach area on the Gulf. And we're taking Kailee. Now that is gonna be aweosome! Her being at the ocean for the first time and the sand. I just can't fucking wait!!! Alright, I guess that's it for now. Have a good one everyone.

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