Well, well, well. Well. Umm, I'm back here in Idaho. It sucks. It is so hard to think that just a few days ago I was hanging out with my Mom at the mall. It is so hard to think that just the other day I was stuck in Nashville's rush hour traffic. As much as I hate it, I'd give anything to be there right now stuck in that rush hour traffic. Anything.

So, Monday was my last day in Tennessee and it was spent in it's entirety with my Mother. I replayed that day in my head on my long ass drive back here to Tennessee. I remember lots of conversation and me telling my Mother she had to run all my last minute errands with me and stay with me and sit there while I pack my bags just because I wanted her too. And I remember we had to run to the mall and pick up a car phone charger for my cell phone. She took me to the store where she gets her stuff and she was talking about phones with the sales guy. I asked her for some cash so I could go and get a cookie. She said hold on and we'll have a cookie together. Okay, at this moment I broke out in tears and I was thinking that "damn it's the last time I'm gonna have a cookie with my Mom for months!" This sucked royally. I don't like to cry. Just ask my Mom. I hate crying especially in front of her and espcially in the middle of the mall. But I started having tears over the whole damn cookie thing right there in front of everyone at the mall. It was pathetic.

So we left Tuesday morning. Not on schedule of course because a Semi Truck turned over on the interstate towards where I had to drive to pick up my husband. I was coming from my Mother's which is just south of Nashville and I was headed to my husband's parents house which is North of Nashville. Anyway, the husband was livid because we were not on time. But oh freaking well. We dealt with the situation. By the time we were on the road for about 25 minutes he was fine.

Tuesday night we were going to get to the half way point between Nashville and Mt. Home wich is in Nebraska, but we ran into quite a few storms and decided to pack it in at a hotel we saw in a nice little town call York. Then Wednesday morning it was back on the road. The drive through Nebraska was perfect. Just cloudy enough to keep the temp down and the sun outta our eyes, but it never rained. Then we hit fucking Wyoming. Of course it sucked. The sun was in our face for the entire state. Stupid place, I truly hate it there. We finally made it back here to the base at 2:00 AM Wednesday night or Thursday morning however you wanna look at it.

I couldn't help but have tears in my eyes when we got into town. It was so unbelieveable that in just three weeks we drove across the country spent three weeks in Tennessee and then drove back across the country and we were back here in Idaho. It was sad to me too.

Have I mention yet that we brought back our Nephew to spend the summer with us? He is 15 and due to some issues he's having with parents and what not we thought it'd be cool to bring him here to spend the summer. So yea, we brought back an extra person. I totally forgot about it. But he is really a good kid. He's been very helpful with the house and he's very appreciative of everything we say and do for him. I have had no trouble at all with him being here.

So yesterday of course we slept in good. Got rested. I'm still a litle tired from the trip I think. I get sleepy easily. I hope to catch up on that sleep soon. I went to Wal-mart and got Kailee a pool out of her birthday money. Of course Chris and Randi came over last night and hung out and that was a lot of fun. I cooked a good dinner and we hung out for a good while. They left for Seattle for the weekend today to see a concert. Today we had the yard cut and set up all the outdoor toys that were put away while we were gone for Kailee. Jeffery, my nephew, helped me blow up Kailee's pool and I filled it with water. She swam this afternoon while I laid out in the sun. That was fun. Overall it was a nice day, but I still think about Tennessee and being wtih my mother so very much and sometimes I just break down and cry.

It will take me a while to get over this shit. You would think now that I've left home four times that I would be used to this by now, but of course I'm not. I'm still very very sad. Everytime gets harder and worse to say goodbye. I know that we only have 2 years left here and that at least I am with my husband and he is not deployed but still it doesn't make things easier. I just want to find a way to go back home soon. I don't think honestly that I can stand to live here for 2 more years. I think about my fragile grandparents. Something could happen to my Grandmother especially. I think about my Mom, and how much she is missing out with Kailee. I think about my sisters and how much I love being with them how I hardly get to see them. This time just doesn't feel right. Something is really wrong and I can't center on where the bad feeling is coming from. I get sort of a bad feeling when I think about home, not because I"m sad I'm not there, but just like something is going to happen and I know I won't be there when it does. I will figure this out, it's the most intuitive feeling I've ever gotten and it makes me sick to my stomach.

Anyway, I thought I would conjure up some highlights of my trip. Just a few quick words about the fun times I had there in Tennessee. Just to liven up the entry a little bit because I am starting to feel much better than I did the day before. So here are some highlights of my trip and some of my favorite times I had.

1. Going out with my Mom. As always the fun times with my Mom takes first place. The most fun we had was at the Bombshell Crush concert of course. The next was the 3 Doors Down concert. And there were so many more that were just awesome. Lots of wich were spent just hanging out at her apartment doing nothing but having some beers. So much fun.

2. Going shopping with my Grandmother for scrapbooking and cardmaking supplies. This was my birthday treat from her and she really hooked me up. But the best part of the day wasn't getting new stuff it was being with her like when I was young. See, I live with her most of my life, and our funest times were going out and shopping or just having lunch out together somewhere. This was such a great day for us. I loved it.

3. Seeing the broadway show "Chicago" with my husband for our Anniversary, and being surprised about it too. My husband was awesome to catch this show and think to take me. How aweomse was he to do this for me? It was definately a greatest moment I'll never forget.

4. Meeting Jimmy Chamberlin, drummer for the band Smashing Pumpkins. I couldn't believe the coincendence of the fact that he was in Nashville playing the same time we were there on vacation. It was aweosme. I will post pictures of this soon.

5. Kailee's birthday party. Kailee's birthday party was definately awesome. I loved watching her have so much fun with our family. And the fact that Amber came was so great too. That was such a fun day.

6. Taking my sisters to Circus World for thier birthdays. This was also a very fun night. I loved being with my sisters so much. We had a blast.

7. Going to see Star Wars at the opening midnight showing. The fact that we were in Tennessee for this worked out great, because neither of us had to worry about getting up early the next day for work, I didn't have to stress over who was gonna watch Kailee, and there wasn't this long as one hour drive to Boise either! It was just great!

8. How about getting to see my family. Just plain and simple getting to see those that I love so very much. How great is that?

Well, I'm sure that there are many many more moments that I will think of that I loved. I am just really tired right now. I have to admit, this trip was so totally awesome. And I think that Kailee and my husband, and myself definately enjoyed ourselves very much. I just wish I had more time there. But I am thankful so very much for the time that I did have there.

Well, I guess I'll wrap this up for now. Tomorrow we are working on the house and Sunday I'm going bowling with my newphew because he loves bowling and so do I but my husband could care less about it, and then Monday we are having this big cookout for Memorial Day. See I have to take up every minute of my day so that I won't think about being in Tennesse, or I swear I might jump in the car and start driving there right now. Well take it easy everyone, have a happy and fun and drunken if you wish Memorial Day weekend!

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