So I would say it's about time I update. Now that things are pretty much back to normal around here.

I seriously hate being negative. I hate it. I hate having problems with people and little spats, and hurting feelings, and not being able to be the person that I really want to be. But so is life. I know that I'm too sensitive, and I take things in wrong context a lot, and that sometimes I can be really over dramatic, and that a lot of times I overreact to things, and most of the time I don't handle that well. So, I am dealing with that and working on controlling my emotions and my outbursts. But mostly I am concentrating on doing things that make me happy. I am no longer going to cater to the needs of others, I am going to cater to the needs of my child and myself and make us happy, then I will be able to please those around me much better.

It took a lot for me to come to this realization though. I had to have yet another spat with yet another friend. TWO IN ONE WEEK, wow I'm getting good. So after spatting with my two closest friends here in Idaho, I decided the reason I'm spatting must be because I'm not happy, and it's time I make myself happy. I do things all day long for other people, especailly Kailee of course. But this past weekend, I just deicided it was time to do my own thing.

Besides going to the Lake Friday night, I did NOTHING but play on the computer all weekend. GOD, I love the Lake though. It's just so peaceful. Unfortunately, our budget doesn't include us having the money to go out, otherwise I would have opted for the bar at least one night this last weekend. But instead, I watched Friends on DVD on my little portable DVD player and sat on the computer playing games!! It was fun, just to do what I wanted and not worry about everything little fucked up thing in my life. The only thing I did was go to the grocery store, and of course I took care of Kailee and my husband.

So it was nice to finally be me. To finally make myself happy, and finally not worry about every little fucked up thing around me. After making ammends with my two friends, I felt much better too. SO hopefully, the drama will stop here, I will be happy, wich will in turn make me a better mother to Kailee, wich is the only reason I get up in the morning anyway!

Well, I guess I better go back to being domestic around this house. I need to finish up washing clothes and vacuum. Apparently because I didn't vacuum yet, my husband doesn't think I did anything. Oh well. I know I did and that's all that really matters right? Have a good one everyone!

Edit added at 5:00PM Well wouldn't you know after I wrote all of this, I checked my horoscope. Does this sound fitting??..

Gemini May 20 - June 20

It may be hard for you to make up your mind about anything today, dear Gemini, so perhaps you should just lay low. Your "go with the flow" attitude can be taken to the maximum today. However, you should be careful about getting so swept up by the tide that you end up so far out at sea that you have no way of getting back. Try to keep a grip on the banks of the stream. The more control you relinquish to others, the harder it will be for you to stay afloat. Wear your life preserver.

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