I need advice. From everyone out there that reads my journal. I need good advice. So please, even if you're really busy and don't always have time to leave a comment, at least leave me some sort of comment today and let me know what you think. Because I really need advice. I don't care if I've never talked to you and you've never left an entry before. Just let me know what you think..

On that note, here's the deal...

I'm at a point in my life where I don't know what to do. There are a lot of things I'm contemplating right now. A LOT. But I am going to only focus on one for now. Here's the deal.

As you all know, or should know, I do Mary Kay. And despite whatever opinions you might have about the business, please hear me out. Listen to my side and why I chose to become apart of this world. Don't worry, I'm not trying to convince people out there to sell Mary Kay like me, and I'm not even trying to convince you to like it, I'm just wanting your honest opinion as to what I should do.

I joined this business back in Janurary. At the time, it was solely for the social things and the discount. I wanted to go on appointments and sell so I could win the prizes and be recongized for something that I was doing. I wanted to go to the meetings and events to have some social time because before I had like no friends and no life here in Idaho. So the point is it wasn't for the money or anything. But then I went to an event where there was a speaker, and she was a very succesful director in the business. She had proof to show her paychecks and the car to prove that it really can happen. So I decided that maybe this was something I could do and I was going to start working this thing and try to make a career out of it. And honestly, I love the feeling that I get when I have a great week of sales and when I accomplish a challenge that is given to me. And of course I LOVE the prizes. But somewhere around the time of me losing my childcare license and when my life seemed to start falling apart, I started getting tired of trying.

What was happening was I was putting myself out there and talking to complete strangers to see if they were interested, and talking to everyone I know to see if they might like to get a facial or have a party. And honestly, I love holding these parties and doing facials, they are so much fun. The thing was I was booking appointments and meeting new people, but these people were either using me or just plain out standing me up. How rude is that? I mean if you don't wanna facial just fucking tell me. So after about the umteenth time of getting stood up and going out there on appointments and having a bunch of "disappointments" I decided I just didn't want to deal with it for a while. SO I haven't done anything, not so much as a phone call in almost a month! I mean, I even stopped going to meetings. I just can't go to success meetings when I'm not doing anything, I feel like a hypocrite. And I make a daily effort to NOT be a hypocrite.

SO my problem. I hear everyday of the sucess stories in this business, and there is real proof that it works. The products are great, so I have no problem selling it and putting it out there. Honestly the product sells itself. But I just keep getting so fucking discouraged, and when I actually do have a good week, it turns itself around within the next week and is sucky. I just don't know. I hear all the time too about people getting no's and used, and stand ups, and they just keep going on, and don't worry about it. But the issue is I just don't know if I want to deal with it anymore. I feel a lot of pressure, and I feel a LOT of stress. Part of me just wants to have a normal job, and a normal life, and not have to worry with all this. But the other part me wants everything that Mary Kay has to offer. I just don't know.

So this is where I need help. I love the company and truly with a passion I love doing the Mary Kay thing. It's so much fun. But I just don't know if I have the energy to deal with it and every thing else that goes on in my little world. I guess that's it. I just want to know what all you great readers out there think. Any advice is welcome at this point. Even if it's bad.

Have a good one, and thanks bunches.

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