GO AWAY


On Monday, Mar. 26, 2007 @ 6:27 PM

I've been on hiatus for a few days, I know. I've been terribly ill. Friday was the last day I had my really expensive nausea medicine, and ever since I've been sick. Around the clock. I'm going back to the doctor tomorrow, we have to figure out a way to stop me from being so sick. I can't live this way, in misery everyday.

Today was a wonderful day outside, and Kailee is on spring break for the week. So I decided I'd fill the week with fun activities so we both don't go insane from boredom. Today was park day. I had it all planned. I'd get up, clean the kitchen, (Monday's chore), and then head out to grab lunch to go, and eat it at the park, and then Kailee could play till her heart's content. I planned to take a book and blanket, and lay in the grass and read while she ran around crazy. I was excited. But my plans came to a hault when my feet hit the floor this morning. I barely made it to the toliet to puke, and when I did, it was awful.

After that I couldn't do anything. My body was so weak and I was so lightheaded.....I laid back down and rested for a few hours. Rediculous! My whole day ruined because of this. What woman experiences this sort of sickness around the clock that never goes away this far in pregnancy? I'm starting to think that I will be plagued with this till the end.

I finally got up and made it to the shower where I managed to actually funtion long enough to get ready to take Kailee out. As bad as I felt, I wasn't going to let this ruin anymore plans for K. She's suffered right along with me through all of this. So anyhow, we head out to the park, and I spread out on my blanket and try to relax. Hard to do because the beautiful picture outside was decieving. I thought it would be warm and comfy, instead it was cold and windy. I still let her run around playing for an hour or so. She needed the outdoor activity that's for sure.

I just don't understand. And to be honest, I'm so tired of it. I'm so tired of talking about it, tired of feeling it, tired of whining about it. Tired of Kailee having to take care of me. Tired of not having a relationship with anyone because I can't manage to hold my head up for more than 10 mins without puking. Tired of ALL OF IT. While I am so happy and VERY LUCKY to be pregnant, I'm so upset about being so miserable.

I want it to just go go go away.



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