What in the HELL is wrong with people today? Seriously. I should know better than to go grocery shopping on payday. I know about 1 million people and thier cousins will be out shopping. But I honestly had no choice, we needed shit. So I braved the Commisary (grocery store on base for those that are not so military inclined). And seriously, WTF?

My biggest complaint was people being VERY inconsiderate to my 5 year old petite daughter. Seriously, can't you pull your head out of your own world's ass for 1 second to see a 5 year old walking in front of you. She got run over by someone and thier cart at least three times. The third time, I about hit the woman. Talking on her cell phone, just buzzing through the mob of people not paying any attention to the world around her. She hit Kailee, then looked at me and didn't even apologize. She looked at me like it was MY FAULT. Kailee's sitting there hugging my cart, how much further out of the way could she go? So I said to the woman...."EXCUSE ME, you just ran over my child, could you at least apologize?" And she looked at me and said a rude "sorry", and I said next time I'll run over your heels with my cart. Yea, I said it. And I would have done it too! And then the people that work at the commisary. Is it not thier job to help us? YES. But of course they can't be bothered to stop for ONE SECOND to tell me if they have some pre-cut watermelon. Fuck it. I didn't want the watermelon that bad anyway.

So yea. I've had a nice day. And the pregnancy hormones are coming out in full force now. I notice my mood changes so quickly that even I don't get a warning. But fuck it. I'm done being nice to strangers and considerate. People out there certainly don't care that I'm out shopping with a young child and I'm all knocked up and miserable. Why should I give a shit about them and thier feelings? Seriously, I can't help it that I can't walk fast and get the fuck outta your way when you're storming down the isle. If you're too blind to see a pregnant lady walking in front of you and then in turn walk around her, it's your own damn problem.

Anyhow, this shitty day started long before I headed to the grocery store. Without going into too much detail, we had a small problem with our money this payday. And well, we have VERY LITTLE to run on until we get paid again. It was so bad I had to call all the bill people we owe this payday and ask for an extension till the 1st of June. Everyone worked with me fine, but it really puts me in a tiff when the bills aren't on schedule. Now we'll have to play catch up next month. And that just puts me all outta wack!

Moving on, I had a very bad dream last night. Actually it was re-ocurring. When I say re-ocurring I mean the dream woke me up, then everytime I went back to sleep, it continued. This dream was so real, I woke up and had to make sure it wasn't happening.

So it starts out with me laying in bed, pregnant, and having to get up to pee, as I usually do. After I emptied the bladder I heard a noise outside and went to check it out. As I looked out the front window I noticed that someone was backing my car into my driveway. I alerted The Husband who got up and grabbed one of those flashlights that cops carry. You know the metal ones that you can bash someone's head in with? Anyhow, we heard guys coming in the house and loading stuff up in our cars. Both of them. At that point I called 911 but I couldn't speak. This always happens when I have a nightmare. I can't speak. Ever. As I struggled to get the words out, the guys came upstairs and tied us up to the bed. They told us to keep quiet and they'd let us live. They made us watch as they stole just about everything we had. Clothes, TVs, DVDs, CDs, computer, camera, even BLANKETS! I begged them not to steal Kailee's favorite blanket, but they took it anyway. It was at this point I woke up.

I jerked up outta bed, and grabbed for my Husband. He told me it was ok and and just a dream and so I laid back down and tried to sleep. Then the dream came back. We're still sitting there on the bed, while these guys take everything we have. And then one of them pulls out a gun and points it at the Husband's head. Kailee was screaming and he kept telling me to shut her up. About that point the cops showed up. Busted through the house and got the guys. Then I woke up again.

What really got me was how real this dream felt. And the fear it put in me. I woke up again in a panic and then told the Husband..."we're moving." I later told him I don't care how shitty housing is on base, I wanna move back on base.

I know pregnancy can make you have some real freak dreams. But man I'm getting sick of that. I just can't handle the emotional meltdown I have after I have a nightmare of that magnitude. And mostly, it makes me even more protective of Kailee.

Anyhow, I better end this book of an entry. Have a good one.

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